WhiffleBall 2019

6.8.19 CONDITIONS: 75 degrees, Partly cloudy Mostly Humid with a chance
of a breeze.
PAX: (14) Squid/QIC, Mini-Van, JV? Ambien, Laettner, Nae-Nae, FNG(Mr. Pickles), Craft, Hard Hat, Chumbucket, Spaghetti-O, Spaulding, Spigoli(respect), Brutus/QIC
Good Mornings – 10 IC
Abe Pagoda’s (Slow Windmills) – 10 IC
Neck Circles – 10 IC
Arm Circles (Forward, Palms Down) – 10 IC
Over Head Air Press (While holding a forward lunge) – 10 IC
Arm Circles (Backwards, Palms Up) – 10 IC
Over Head Air Press (While holding a forward lunge oppo leg) – 10 IC
Through the Tunnel – 10 IC

Merkin/Burpee Progression
2 merkins then 1 burpee x 1
4 merkins then 1 burpee x 2
6 merkins then 1 burpee x 3
At this point Spigoli was completely confused as were most including the QIC but Nae-Nae was confident and so we continued for one more ½ round
8 merkins then 1 burpee x 4

Moby Flower Merkin Song – in the Q original plan we were going to listen to the song together but instead only the Q could hear the song playing titled “Flower” by Moby so the Q just called out “up” and ‘Down’ – this was a lot less fun than originally planned.
Heard some mumble from some that this song only has 5 words. Performed a Google search to see what the lyrics are – I discovered it is not “Bring Sally up..” but “Green Sally up..”
Either way JV didn’t like it … I mean someone complained so we ended just before 2 min instead of the full 3:27

Mosey around Kroger (Head West turn at Pharmacy Return at Wayback/WOB)

Railroad TIes/Human Hurdles – plank from one end of bowling green to pavilion and back. Ok so Coach Squid led this activity while Brutus set up the Wiffle ball field. Now the field could have been set up before the beatdown began but when the Q in charge of setting up the field arrives on two wheels at 6:28… well sometimes you have to improvise. Thanks to Coach Squid for jumping right in and leading our team.
Anyways we only made it ¾ down the grassy pavilion, but we did learn from Ambien that the rough cement was great on our elbows. Some people pay to have their skin exfoliated.

Head over to pick up bricks blocks – butt kicks from fountain until you pick up your brick block.
It should also be noted here that the Q was not specific and others were asking if they should kick the butt of the Q but thankfully each man just kicked his own.
Return to grassy area in front of Shelter Cove pavilion – line up straight line every other man faces 278 oppo man faces marsh.
Perform sandbag motion until all blocks have moved from end of line to the beginning of line. Repeat beginning to end. (squat or lunge if unable to complete)
Spigoli said he was ‘aware’ of this exercise having witnessed it at the job site many times. Q was unaware of the back issues some were having.

Mosey to corner of Kroger with brick for wall sits with brick
Alternate 30 sec wall sit with brick and B@!!s to wall
Repeat 3 wall sits, 3 balls to wall 30 seconds each
10 drydocks/inclined merkins Derkins before picking up blocks and heading to wiffleball

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the F3 PAX on Saturday;
the beatdown took too much out of them, with but one more activity to play.
And then when JV left to set up the kids tri, and others thought about doing the same,
a sickly silence fell upon the pax who remained.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
they thought, if only Squid could get but a whack at that
they’d put up even money, now, with Squid at the bat.

But Spaghettio preceded Squid, as did Chumbucket- who could rake,
and the former was a ringer and the latter was no fake,
so upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
for there seemed but little chance of Squid’s getting to the bat.

But Spaulding let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
and Mini-Van, the much loved with one fully functional shoulder, tore the cover off the ball;
and when the dust had lifted, and the men saw what had occurred,
there was Nae-Nae safe at second and Hard Hat a-hugging third.

Then from five thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
it rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
it rocked upon the mountain marsh and recoiled upon the flat,
For Squid, mighty Squid, was advancing to the bat.
Only there would be no joy in Mudville as Squid has a lingering injury that relegated him to full time pitcher.
Currently his ERA sits in the double digits, even with Spigoli’s figuring out that multiple errors allows the runner to score and thus negates the mandatory 5 burpees that accompany each ‘out’,
Laettner made his Saturday appearance and we learned that he was not messing around as he swiped a base and the ball away from a sure-handed fielder.
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
the band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
and somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
but the 13 PAX at Shelter Cove got their work in, now it’s time for a stout.
(or an American Lager – Thanks Nae-Nae)

F3 Wiffleball rules Guidelines, Suggestions
Pitched ball that hits the lawn chair is a strike (3 strikes=out)
Out = 10 burpees then heading to station 0

Station 1= Pitcher
10 squats

Station 2 = 1st base
15 crabcakes

Station 3 = 2nd base
20 backscratchers

Station 4 = Right field
25 Drydocks
Station 5 = Centerfield
30 American Hammers

Station 6 = Shortstop
35 Flutters

Station 7 = Leftfield
40 Mule kicks – single count

Station 8 = 3rd base
50 Plankjacks

Station 9 = ON DECK
25 curls with brick

Station 10 = IN THE HOLE (2nd on deck)
20 Overhead Presses with brick / alt. 20 big boys

Station 11 = 3rd on deck to bat
Tricep extensions with small bricks or block / alt. Overhead air press

Station 12 = 4th on deck to bat
Farmers Walk (Carry 2 blocks from parking lot to marsh anb back

Station 13 = 5th on deck to bat
Step Ups on steps near pavilion while holding block (25) or
15 if holding one block in each hand

Station 14 = 6th to bat
One long lap around shelter cove park -stopping to perform 10 pull ups at playground

Station 15 = 7th
20 side bends while holding block each side L/R

Station 16 = 8th
35 diamond merkins

17-?# long mosey around park
We only had 13 ballers in our PAX so stations 12 -17 could be dropped
As is happened the actual game (more home run derby style than game play) moved along at a pretty rapid pace and the PAX was able to get their work in on the field.

14 started 13 finished.
Prayer Request
Family members of those traveling, Ambien’s father-in-law, Squid’s father- continued healing, Laettner’s wife, PAX injuries and unspoken.


Thanks Spaulding and Squid for encouraging me to take a chance with the wiffleball thing. Thanks to all for letting my inner child play a little wiffleball, and thanks for not getting hurt.


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